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[officerrenaldi]

[Ladies and Gentlemen-have a certain cop who is scared as anything. The problem with all of this is-she's LAPD. Raised in a family who don't show fear. So she's trying to keep out of site yet wandering the halls. She's completely affected and struggling like mad with it.

But she's not giving in. So she's just got her hands in her pockets wandering the halls completely on edge. This is what it's like to be supernatural somehow. The other times she'd been someone else-this was the first time a flood hit her.

This is what it's like. But she's not saying anything about it. Nothing at all.]

Comments

[batmanschmatman]

[Dick's been feeling kind of uncomfortable this whole flood. He's not used to people seeing him vulnerable unless he's actually vulnerable, and people being able to read him this easily is kind of... unsettling. So there's a general feeling of uneasiness and discomfort on top of his homesickness, but all that is kind of getting pushed aside when he comes across Carla, because he's totally picking up on that fear. Concern quickly muscled past his own discomfort.]

You okay?

[officerrenaldi]

[Carla stares at him-eyes wide. Unease. Discomfort. She radiates fear and denial.]

...Yeah. Fine. Just...this is one hell of a flood.

[batmanschmatman]

[Which is just bringing Dick's level of concern right up.]

Yeah. Carla, what's wrong?

[officerrenaldi]

[There's a hard flash of anger there.] Nothing! It's just...

[It's too much.] I'm fine. I can handle this. I don't need any help. Ever.

[batmanschmatman]

[Dick was frustrated, but tried to keep his irritation in check, because all he wanted to do was help, and when you were getting huge waves of "I'm pretty freaked out" from someone you were friendly with, it was sort of a hard thing to ignore.] Yeah, you do. Everyone needs help sometimes.

[officerrenaldi]

...No. [Carla stares at him. He's irritated, she's confused and angry but it's that self-directed anger. Then in a show of false bravado.] Not me. I've shot zombies. Okay. I've put down werewolves and vampires. I'm here because I'm the calm one and I'm the rational one. I don't need help.

[She sounds boastful and arrogant but in reality all of her emotions scream yes I do.]

...I don't want to go see a barge shrink. This is making me feel like I should be a barge shrink you know? So many people who are being so upset.

[batmanschmatman]

[Dick's frustration spikes and then drops off a little again as he takes a deep breath, falling back on his training, on what he's good at, because even if this flood is giving him some weird empathy or something, he was still calm and rational and could focus on the important thing here.

So his voice is calmer and more controlled, his emotions a little more dialed back.]

Carla, calm down. First off, there isn't a Barge shrink, unless you want to go talk to McCoy or the Doctor, and second, being freaked out about floods is totally normal. It doesn't matter what you've been through - and all of us have been through something - it's okay to be unsettled by it. You don't need to lash out at people who are concerned.

[officerrenaldi]

[Carla stares at him.]

...I'm not gonna be taken off duty if I say that this is bothering me? [she closes her eyes and looks-distraught.] ...I'm not going to be booted off the ship? I've seen you guys-I thought...

[She shakes her head.] I didn't want to set a bad example. I woke up feeling all of this and it reminded me of when Krist-when a coworker ended up ratting us out to a vampire gang. She had been manipulated.

...This...leaves a lot of opportunities for manipulation on a massive scale and if I'm not prepared at all...How the hell are you so calm?

[batmanschmatman]

[Even with the control, the question sort of leaves a painful mark, because the answer is Bruce and the ridiculous training he's been through, and he misses him like crazy. But it's sort of overpowered by some amusement and exasperation.]

I've been through a fair amount of crazy things myself. [Which is putting it mildly but details.] This isn't a normal job. We're not on duty, you're not going to get booted off if you're having a hard time coping, no one's going to fire you or give you demerits for having a hard time. People have this happen to them all the time, here. We've had wardens completely lose their minds during things like this and things just go back to normal after they've had time to cope with it.

[Seriously, when are you going to get this isn't the same as being a cop? :c]

[officerrenaldi]

[she's been building up to this for the year she's been on the UTF man. She's overdue for stress. Carla stares at him.]

...I want to make a good impression.

[And there's a real feeling of insecurity.] ...A lot of people are looking to me to do this. Counting on me. It..[she hesitates.]

....My Captain's niece got attacked because of one of my coworkers. She was turned into a vampire against her will. Admiral shows up out of the blue and offers the captain a deal. He...went to talk it over with us. I volunteered because...he had faith that I would be able to handle it because after everything that we went through I was the one who came out...

[Came out worried with a new boyfriend questioning herself and her emotions.]

It couldn't be Kristen and John John was still in the hospital and the Captain's all the Valley has. I was expendable.

[There's a small feeling of resentment there, but it vanishes quickly.]

[batmanschmatman]

And you'll do fine. The more you worry about doing a perfect job, the more you're just going to stress yourself out. [He was trying to be comforting, sincerely meaning what he was saying, because things always had a way of working themselves out in the end, really.]

It's okay to need help sometimes. No one's expecting you to be infallible, and there are people you can talk to if you're feeling stressed out.

[officerrenaldi]

...Yeah? Like who? You? [she raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms over her chest uncomfortably] Renaldi's don't get pissy it's a job you just go do it.

...I can't even talk to my squad. it was hell talking to Kristen.

[batmanschmatman]

If you want. I'd be happy to listen. [You're a cop and you're a warden and you seem like a decent person, that's good enough for Dick, really.]

You kind of need people to rely on here.

[officerrenaldi]

[Allllll the wariness and mistrust.] And what qualities do you have to recommend you.

[she shakes her head and leans against the wall] How long have you been here?

[batmanschmatman]

[Dick frowns, extremely confused, because he sort of thought he and Carla were at least friendly. She knew he was a cop, he invited her to stuff when he and Angua and George hung out, he didn't know he was doing anything wrong.]

A year and four months.

[officerrenaldi]

[...Carla stares at him and bites back tears. This is-way too much. Confusion. Why the confusion? Questioning?]

I'm not making any progress at all with Mercer. He was involved in that thing with that kid-we were doing fine until that... I'm homesick, and I'm scared of my inmate.

[she gives a sad little laugh] I don't even feel like I belong with you guys half the time. I hate feeling...helpless. Being here and knowing just how people are feeling...it's like it's driving my own feelings back into my head.

...We go out and do stuff and you guys have been doing this and I just...

[lamely.]

......I feel out of place. I want to help and do more but I don't know what to do.

[She shakes her head] ...Hate this flood.

[batmanschmatman]

[Well. That's really just pulling out an enormous amount of sympathy, and he wishes he had a solution or could reach out and comfort her or something more than just stand there and promise it'll be okay.

He's settling for sort of cautiously trying to put a hand on her shoulder.] Carla, all of this is totally normal. You'll figure it out, and if you feel overwhelmed or just need to vent or something, you've got people you can talk to.

[surfaceshine]

[So Dean hasn't seen Carla since the pirate flood, and it was longer even before then; and if that weren't enough, she's broadcasting loudly enough to give him a headache if his own tolerance for the same weren't ridiculously high. He knows how to shove the fear and anxiety away, and he does so now as he sets out to find the source of it. His proximity might not help her - there's a souldeep sadness and isolation that he carries with him everywhere even though it doesn't show on the surface, and an instinctive wariness of even people he trusts just because they're not Winchesters - but he wants to. There's empathy in the mix as he searches the hall.]

[officerrenaldi]

[That glare's back.]

...Don't give me that...that cop "ribbing" crap. You know what I mean. [her tone turns mocking] "ohohoho-seems like somebody got-" [she waves a hand] and so on and so forth.

...please. I can't fucking stand that.

[officerrenaldi]

[Oh god it's like listening to a time bomb wandering down the hallway. Feeling it. She backs up a step-but there's nowhere to run as neither of the nearby cabin doors are open. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.]

....Hi.

[Never has someone looked that uneasy. Well, never has a law enforcement official looked that uneasy.]

[batmanschmatman]

I don't do that.

[officerrenaldi]

[Her voice trails off.]

...You ever felt like this? Like you can't take it? I dunno maybe...

...I shot a zombie in the head. I blew John Wayne's face off and this is what breaks me.

[technophilic]

[ Poor Satsuki is still gathering data on who is affected and who isn't. She has some better idea of what's happening to her now, but she's still utterly unhappy with it. But now she's more confused than anything. People are reacting to her so strongly, as though she were some sort of emotional wreck.

If only she understood how to define her own misery. ]

Excuse me. [ You. Yes you. She has Questions. ]

[officerrenaldi]

[Carla recoils. That's strong. Like a punch to the face strong.]

...What? what?

[technophilic]

[ See, that? THAT CONFUSES HER. And distresses her. What is wrong? :c ]

I am running a statistical analysis of the flood events that occur here. It would be helpful to my analysis to know whether or not you have been affected by the current flood.